I dreamed that I was in a huge house with many floors and many outside areas.

I had a boyfriend in the dream who seemed interested in controlling my movement.

I saw my sister coming in with big plates of pancakes and decided to make a break for it. I circumvented the traps and made my way to the kitchen and my mother; with a heroic, galloping stride, tumbling over various obstacles.

After awaking, I called my mom to tell her, and she was very happy because she has been in a wheelchair for a few months and is just now being able to walk again. She was making iced tea as we spoke. Pancakes have a lot of carbs for a diet-conscious, tiny little lady like my mother to be cooking up, but if she wanted to make pancakes, I bet she could handle it, and soon.

I was in a dorm at a school and got blackmailed by my involvement with a much younger boy. So I was not allowed to graduate, and at graduation spoke with a sympathetic person who was not graduating yet either, who gave me some advice. Somehow this person morphed into a french nobleman, very wealthy, and I ended up visiting his family. Throughout the dream he seemed to grow older until he was my contemporary.

I was riding around in a lovely sleigh with these itinerant noblefolks in france. I had to be back into Paris to catch the train to London and returnto the US, and when I boarded what seemed to be another open air vehicle on skis, I was bound for the train station. the Big Ben chimed midnight, somehow being transplanted to Paris, and we drove by empty fields, passing the occasional enormous ruin of a state building. It reminded me of dreams I had years ago of being in an isolated, ghostly city.

The nobleman called me and told me of his dirty thoughts and we negotiatated on how i could stay around for a day or so. I told him I had enjoyed meeting his wife and that I had helped her to organize her sleigh, and the noble life appealed to me, with all it's sleigh rides and fancy recipe books, but that I was a worker and would find myself organizing every damn sleigh. He thought that was cute, and he sang to me as I lay in the sleigh and wondered if he was serious about keeping me around, because a new ticket had to be purchased pretty damn quick. Thinking on it further, I realized that he was an itinerant, wealthy nobleman, and probably was just screwing with my head. As I determined to get serious about the money for the ticket, I woke up.

was the halfwit sister of a strong, beautiful, lesbian, in a savage cannibal family. My knowledge of the situation came slowly, the first part I was aware of was that I felt compelled to smash crockery and glassware over the side of the balcony in the loft we lived in, usually harming a child.

The children never cried, but we discovered them, covered with horrible wounds, and were able to calm the general public. How they believed that we had so many accidents I have no idea. I found myself eyeing glassware and wondering when I would feel compelled to break the next piece.

Finally, escape came, through what turned out to be a cannibal plot. I managed to escape the rest of the cannibal family by hiding out in a cabin. The cabin turned out to have a curtain which, when opened, revealed a huge, grand house. I made my way through the house and decided, to hide in a small room with a large window onto a freeway, with easy escape obviously nearby. I knew that I looked a mess and there was no way I could explain myself to a stranger, nor did I have any information as to my name, and I didn't have a home.

I figured I'd pull a comforter over my body and go to sleep. Naturally, it failed. I woke to find the room full of cannibals and my sister, with a sack of body parts. They obviously intended me to be the next victim. I found myself in one of those situations where the conscious part of my mind woke up a little bit, braced myself to dream of being devoured by cannibal, and decided to help my dream-self negotiate her way out of the situation.

I ended up finding ways to flatter and validate the evil ones, and even matched up my sister with another fabulous lesbian who was very wealthy, and owned the house I was hiding in.

By pleasing the evil ones, they became less bent on destruction and I felt safer. My future was uncertain, but certainly I was doing well with my limited resources.

I was asked to do a few web design options for a kirsten dunst website. I was okay with this mostly because access to her entire collection of sweaters seemed to be part of the deal and I thought that it would be easy to help myself to a few, particularly the orange sweater with the fur collar. Screen melt and I am in a kitchen where clean, all-american children are reciting their pitch-perfect lines, as I now seem to be inside a sitcom. A rather strange sitcom where the children are so interested in a certain casserole that they are gently teased about their desire for said casserole by being placed themselves into large iron pots, all brand new as this is a sitcom; and napped by slices of american cheese and then placed in the oven. No one seems to share my concerns about the propriety or the lack of humor about this little casserole joke so I keep my thoughts to myself and get out of there quickly. Of course, nothing bad seems to be happening, as our surroundings are so clean and new and the remaining children are still joking merrily.

Once i had a dream there was going to be a volcanic erruption and sesame
street was on the fault line. In my dream, there was nothing anyone could
do to evacuate. Big Bird and I were the only ones who knew we were all
doomed. I asked Big Bird if we should warn the others, but he said "NO. We
should let them die without fear." I was a kid when I had that one.

I'm at summer camp.

It's the last day, and of course, I haven't yet
begun to pack. I realize this when I see all the
buses loading all the other campers, and begin to
drive off.

I make a dash for my cabin, which, if my real life
apartment is any indication of how I would live in
a dream, I had stuff piled every where.

I decided to donate most of my belongings to the
cabin, and just take whatever I could carry.
Then, I remembered my cats... where the heck were
they?
As I search the cabin for my sweet kittens, I see
the last of the buses drive away.

Seemingly hopeless, I then find myself at a Hyatt
Hotel.
I’m waiting for the back elevator, with my kittens
in a duffel bag.
I worry that someone will stop me from going up to
a room.
As all I want is a hot shower, clean sheets, and
room service.

2/2/00
nana saw a picture of another girl and was exclaiming over how beautiful she was...i said, nana, am i pretty? and she obviously thought not because she ignored the question.

i had a "door" in my closet to a workshop of some kind. The door was a black curtain. people kept using it as a door, and i was annoyed. why i'm not sure. But tons of people i knew kept telling me they respected my decision to not use the door and then they kept using it right in front of me. at one point, the curtain even came down with the curtain rod exposed as a very flimsy thing.

i tried taping it to the sides to close it off. that didn't work. i tried tying the edges of the curtain to things, that didn't work either. i looked around for furniture to block it with. then i looked at the workshop, and they had several big bookcases so i could block it from their side, but they were too big for me to move myself.

i watched a home movie we made of me and my sisters playing a game on the lawn. It was like a photo, but i was able to look through the lens as if it was a movie camera.

i watched my young self pose and thought, "i can see now that i moved like a performer." i scrutinized the back of the house i grew up in and could see movement in an upper window.

8/13/00
i was housesitting a beautiful mansion. It seemed like it was my house but i couldn't believe it was really mine, it was so beautiful and so elaborate. as i walked through it i had a feeling that it could be mine if i could believe it was. also, the people i was housesitting for were originally tenants of my own house and that added to that feeling. in the dream, i was going out with the same person i've been on and off with all year. he had spent the weekend elsewhere, and i found out it was at an ex-girlfriends house. she had written him a bitter note because he wouldn't have sex with her. she looked just like me only fatter and uglier. the note said in part "you are so hot, but don't think it's because of how you look, because it's not" i then found my way to a drugstore and starting looking at makeup at some type of department store counter in there. the woman asked if i needed help. i said, only if you can make me beautiful. i want to be beautiful.